Everlasting Suns

All my life they have been at the center and outer edges of everything that ever mattered. They were the sun from the moment I opened my eyes, and all I loved gravitated around them and existed because they did. My life has two shining bright suns, and through the years I was too busy to notice that as I grew so did they. 

I felt them so strongly with senses other than sight that I never felt the need to truly look. I felt an aura of strength the likes of which I have never felt before or since. I felt love and warmth so big they kept two entire galaxies afloat. I felt smiles, laughter and care. I felt hugs that felt so timeless there was no way they would ever waver or change. I felt two spirits that burn with the entire life force of both sides of my family. They are strong enough to have kept me blind and secure, knowing that something this bright could never age and be anything other than everlasting. 

My blissful blinds came off this past year, and I realized that spirits don't change but bodies do. Limbs can age, cells can slow down, eyes can change color and skin can wrinkle and thin. Suns burn with the same strength but the shells that contain them age and grow on. I was so blinded by how they made me feel that I missed the changing point. I went from being dazzled by two magnificent women who led long, full and inspiring lives to suddenly realizing that they are older than I ever thought they were. 

It scares the living daylight out of me to see them so frail when they are at the heart of my definition of strength. But then I close my eyes and realize that they feel just the same as they ever did. My grandmothers burn just as bright as they have my whole life, and no amount of aging their bodies can do will ever change that. Spirits are everlasting, and sight is overrated. So I will keep my eyes closed and feel my grandmothers. And I will pray to Allah that no matter what my eyes try to tell me today or in the years to come I never stop feeling them everywhere I turn and in everything I do. I have loved them long before I knew what love was, and I will love them longer than forever can dream to reach. They are my everlasting suns, and that is something that time and old age cannot and will not change.