Change

I want to take a step back. Or twenty, or perhaps more. I want to take however many steps back it needs for me to see myself and my life clearly. I want to see every messy corner, every broken piece of glass and every pile of ash. I want to see the good and the bad with a clarity that only distance can give.

When I can see everything, when I've developed sight and a mind that can fathom every facet of myself, I want to sit back and make decisions. I want to uproot everything and move it around. I want to reorganize my life, throw things out and put new things in their place. I want change. I want it so badly it is a need and no longer a mere desire.

I need to throw all olds out and bring in a big bunch of new. I want new hopes and new dreams, I want new goals and new plans, I want new ideas and new thoughts. I want a new mind, and a new perspective. I want to want different things and I want to want them differently. I want my surroundings to reflect that need for different -I want everything to be fresh and new.

I want change. I want to go through myself and my life like a tsunami and wash my insides and outsides clean and bare. I want to replant, I want to begin from zero again with nothing but a book of experience guiding me through. I want to change everything through and through, and then sit from afar and bask in the comfort of losing that restlessness that was my old.